


Hair Gel

by mightymorphine



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, but really funny, i was very sleep deprived, it's really stupid, uh i don't even know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-24
Updated: 2015-07-24
Packaged: 2018-04-11 01:39:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4416155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mightymorphine/pseuds/mightymorphine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The guys find the most perfect hair gel in the world and go on an all-out warfare to find it. </p><p>Where Harry and Zayn are models who used to date, Louis works at Tesco, Niall is very rich and Liam just wants his hair to look nice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hair Gel

Liam was on his way to Tesco to pick something up. Something very special he had been waiting a very long time to get. He walked into the store like he’d done so many times before, past the weird girl on the register that somehow seemed to know his name, towards the middle of the store where a table had been set up under a sign that said “NEW!”

There was only one left and when he went to grab it, he clashed hands with another guy.   
“Oh, sorry.” They both said in unison.  
The other guy he recognized from seeing him around town. Black long hair, all black wardrobe, leather jacket and a pair of Ray-Bans.   
They had a moment where they stared each other in the eyes for a moment, fully aware that neither of them was going to give up that last jar.  
“Clearly I was here first.”  
“No way, mate. I was way ahead of you.”  
“I’m not giving this thing up.”

An employee appeared between them.  
“What’s all the fuss about, lads?”  
A shorter guy, with a styled-messy hairdo. His nametag read “Louis”.

“We’re just here to purchase this new hair gel. But there’s one left and there’s two of us.” Liam explained.  
“So you see our dilemma.” The black haired one shot in.  
Louis nodded and rubbed his chin thoughtfully.  
“What’s the deal with this hairgel though? We got like a hundred of these and they cleared out in an hour.”  
“Oh it’s not just a hairgel, my dear Lewis.”  
“Louis.”  
“Louis, sorry.”  
“This is a magical elixir.” The black haired one made a dramatic hand-movement.  
“It’s a gel, a mousse, a wax… you name it.”  
“In one.”  
“Depending on how you rub it.”  
“It can perfect any hairstyle.”  
“It’s waterproof! You need to shampoo it out.”  
“Robert Downey Jr. has one.”

“Hey guys.”  
A guy in an overcoat with a slicked-back hairstyle, designer sunglasses and a shopping cart full of bananas appeared among them.  
“Oh shit. Harry Styles? THE Harry Styles? In MY Tesco?” Louis’s jaw was nearly on the floor.  
“The one and only.”  
“Harry.” The black haired said coldly.  
“Zayn.” Harry said with the same coldness.

Suddenly they heard a snicker behind them.  
A blonde guy was running off with the last jar of the hair gel.  
They all gasped in unison.  
Louis jumped on the table.  
“STOP THAT RIDICULOUSLY ATTRACTIVE BLONDE MAN!”  
They all ran after him, only to catch him paying for the gel and running out the door.  
“Fuck!”

“No way. I’m not giving up this easily.” Liam ran out after him. The other guys followed.  
The blonde guy got into a Range Rover and drove off. The guys all dove into Harry’s Ferrari and followed him in a slighty-above-legal speed pursuit to his house.

“Aw come on.” Liam whined from the back seat.   
Zayn pinched his nose bridge. “Of course he lives in a mansion with a gate and an eight foot tall wall. Of course he fucking does.”  
“I’m so fucking fired…” Louis groaned.  
“What are we going to do? They only make that gel once per year.” Harry asked desperately.  
“I suggest a stake-out” Liam said “We’ll wait for him to go out and then we’ll break in and take it.”  
“I’m quite sure that’s illegal, mate. I’m already getting fired for this gel, I’m not going to jail for it too. I’m just going to go in there and ask him if he’s willing to sell it.” Louis got out of the car but then returned briefly.   
“Liam, was it?”  
“Yeah?”  
“Would you mind giving me a boost over the wall? There’s no way he’ll let me through the gate…”

Liam gave him a boost so he got on top of the wall, then found a tree to get down from the wall.  
“That wasn’t so hard!” he said to himself.  
Just as he finished that sentence, he heard dogs barking, and three Rottweilers coming after him.

 

Meanwhile, on the other side of the wall, inside Harry’s Ferrari they heard barking, growling, and Louis screaming “SHIT SHIT SHIT FUCK!”  
“Should we go help him?”  
“No I’m sure he’s fine.”  
They all shrugged.

 

Louis managed to shake off the dogs and made it up to the door and rang the doorbell. The blonde guy answered.  
“Oh, it’s you guys again.” He spoke in a thick Irish accent.   
“No actually just me. I just wanted to see if you were willing to sell-” he inhaled deeply  
“What?”  
“You’re wearing it right now, aren’t you?”  
“I am.”  
“It looks really good.”  
“I know.”  
“It smells really good…”  
“I know.”  
Louis leaned in to smell the guy’s hair better. He couldn’t help it, the scent had him in some sort of a frenzy.  
“Like, really, really good…”

 

“So what’s the deal with you two?” Liam tried to loosen the tension in the car.  
Harry sighed.  
“We used to date.”  
“Until you stole my big shot.” Zayn snapped  
“You wanted to open a gallery, you didn’t even want that contract.”  
“You wanted to open a bakery, you still took it!”  
“That contract was always mine! They only asked you IN CASE I didn’t want it!”  
“That’s bullshit. Liam, wouldn’t I be a better Face-of-Armani than Harry?!”  
“Yeah Liam, what do you think?”  
“uhm.” He sat there like a deer in headlights with the two of them staring at him. “You’re both very pretty, but I have no idea what’s going on.”  
He looked around nervously.  
“Where’s Louis anyway?”

 

It wasn’t until the next morning that Louis showed up.  
“Have you lads been here all night?”  
“Have you been in there all night?”  
“What happened?”  
“Where’s your Tecso uniform? What the fuck are you wearing?”  
Louis looked down at his outfit.  
“Oh, Niall let me borrow this.”  
“You had sex with him, didn’t you?” The guys stared at him judgmentally.  
“I couldn’t help myself!” He exclaimed nervously. “He was so cute and he smelled so good!”  
They continued to stare judgmentally.  
“He let me try out the gel too! Smell my hair guys, you’ll see what I meant.”  
They still stared at him judgmentally but all smelled his hair.  
“Yeah, okay I see what you meant.” Liam agreed. The other two nodded.

 

They drove off to Harry’s luxury penthouse.   
“I see you took down my paintings.” Zayn snorted.   
“They didn’t go with the new décor.”  
“Whatever. I’m going to use your shower.”  
“I’m next!” Liam demanded. 

“So you were in there,” Harry called from the kitchen “why didn’t you just take it?”  
“I thought about it. But having sex with him is one thing, but this guy made me food, lent me his clothes and even promised to help get me a job! It would be worse than wrong to do that to him.”  
“We’ll have to think of something else.” Zayn came out of the bathroom with his hair in a bun. Liam quickly went in after him.  
“Are you wearing my shirt?” Harry peeked out of the kitchen.   
“It’s mine, you just never returned this one. And a bunch of other ones.”  
“It helps me sleep at night…” Harry mumbled as he went back into the kitchen.  
He came out with a plate of banana muffins and brownies before heading into the shower after Liam came out. 

 

“My hair looks ridiculous…” Liam sighed.  
Just then, they were interrupted by Louis’s ringtone.  
“Ooh it’s Niall!”

 

“Hey Neil.”  
“Louis, where are you?”  
“I’m at my mate’s Harry’s flat. Are you okay?”  
“No, I’ve just been robbed! Someone broke into me house and trashed it!”  
“Oh fuck.”  
“They took the gel Lou! THEY TOOK THE GEL.”

 

“Okay fellas, don’t panic. But someone’s broken into Niall’s house and stolen the gel.”  
They all looked at each other worryingly.  
Harry came out of the bathroom, his hair was a huge mess of endless curls.  
“Everyone, I’m completely out of my last supply of this gel. Now is a good time to panic.”  
The guys screamed and ran around the living room flailing their arms in a state of complete panic.  
“WHAT ARE WE GOINTG TO DO!? WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DOOO?!?!?!”

The doorbell rang and they all stopped and stood completely still. The doorbell rang again and they screamed. Liam was closest to the door phone so he went to get it with shaky hands.   
“Hello?”  
“It’s Niall. Louis told me to come here.”  
“Oh okay.” He buzzed him in.

 

They all sat on the couch while Niall set up his iPad.  
“I have security cameras all over the house so they should have picked this up.”

Harry came out with a platter of cookies.  
“Does anyone want pie? I think I’m going to make a pie…”  
He went back in.  
“He bakes when he’s nervous.” Zayn explained.   
“And you get baked when you’re nervous!” Harry tossed a bread roll at him from the kitchen.

Harry was in the process of putting his hair up into a bun when they called him.  
“We got it!”

They were all crammed together in the couch around Niall when they saw the video of the perpetrator.  
“Uhm, is that…?”  
“Yeah I think it is.”  
“Niall, you got robbed by Robert Downey Jr.!”  
“Guess you could say you were…” Harry started and giggled a little “ROBed!”  
They all stared at him judgmentally until Louis elbowed him in the ribs.

“This gel is the only thing that can tame my hair!” Harry exclaimed dramatically while he got out of the couch. “I will not watch my career go down the drain because of my evil curls!”  
“I think you look lovely with a bun.” Liam said softly. Harry blushed.  
“Well I think you’ve got lovely buns…” Harry giggled. Liam blushed.  
“Where’s Zayn? Louis looked around.” 

Zayn stormed out of the bathroom wearing nothing but underwear with a shaved head and the remains of his hair were bleached.  
All the guys shrieked in horror.  
“I REFUSE TO BE A SLAVE TO THIS HAIR GEL. I AM SUPERIOR. I WIN THIS ROUND.”  
“How did you do that so fast?!”  
He wrapped himself in one of Harry’s throw blankets like a toga robe and ran out the door.

“Well I guess it’s just the four of us then…”

Harry came out of the kitchen with a six tier birthday cake.  
“Alright let’s go!”

 

After some amount of research, they managed to find RDJ’s hotel room.  
Niall was disguised as a bus-boy, Louis was disguised as a member of the maintenance crew, Harry as a maid and Liam as a security guard.

Harry knocked on the door.   
“Housekeeping!”  
He was let in by a crew of security guards.  
He found his way to the bathroom, found the gel and snuck it under his dress and rushed out.  
“I can’t let you do that.”  
He turned around to see no-one other than Robert Downey Jr. aiming a gun at him.   
“I need that gel, kid. It’s premiere night tonight and my career is at stake.”  
“So is mine!”  
“Just hand it over.”  
“No!”

He heard a gunshot and he felt Liam jump on him.  
“LIAM?!”  
Harry held his head in his arms.  
“Harry, I just need to say something…” Liam coughed weakly...  
“Yes?” Harry sobbed.  
“You look really hot in this maid outfit…”  
He drifted off to the fading sound of Harry’s voice  
“Just stay with me… Help is on the way… Just stay with me Liam.”

 

He woke up in a hospital bed with the three of them surrounding him.   
“He’s awake!”  
“Oh my god Liam!” Harry was holding his hand.  
“What… Happened?”  
“Well, Robert Downey Jr. was going to kill me, but you saved me and he shot you in the shoulder instead.”  
“He was very sorry for the incident and sent us a box of the gel from America.”

“Guys, this gel is evil. It made him crazy and it made us crazy too.”  
They all agreed. 

 

Once Liam was well enough to leave the hospital, they all met on top of Tower Bridge in the middle of the night.  
“Are we sure we want to do this? After all the trouble we went through?”  
“We agreed to this, Louis.”  
Louis nodded.  
They dumped the box into the river. It made a “sploosh” and then there was nothing.

 

Harry’s modeling career didn’t work out. But he did open a very successful bakery chain. He and Liam ran them together. Louis started off as Niall’s assistant/apprentice but quickly became his business partner. They got married a year after the hair-gel incident. Robert Downey Jr. sent them an autographed photo as a wedding gift and now it sits on their mantelpiece.  
The last they heard from Zayn was that he opened his own gallery and finally became the face of Armani. He sent Niall and Louis a painting as a wedding present.  
Harry still hasn’t returned the rest of Zayn’s shirts.


End file.
